I am Bound by a Contract I Didn’t Sign

By Zave Forster

I first want to express my gratitude, love, and support for everyone in the donor conceived community. Being DC has hit me very, very hard. I’ve spent the past several months going to therapy, doing self-healing, seeking spiritual help, and contemplating my life direction. Having this online community and seeing other people feel how I feel has literally been a life-saver.

My body, mind, and soul hurt every day feeling the injustice that happened to me and to everyone who is a result of unethical DC—although I acknowledge that I can only speak to my experience and no one else’s. 

I feel like a custom ordered product, bound by a contract I didn’t sign, with half of my biological history stolen from me. I have a donor-father who openly admits to just “donating” for the money and satisfaction of having offspring that he never had to care about. And the world remains barely aware of the pain many of us (not saying everyone) go through. There are so few laws or resources to protect us and seemingly so few allies who accept the feelings people of DC can have.

Although my path is very different, I resonate so deeply with the words of Angela Davis: “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.”

I now feel inspired to speak up, protest, change the laws, create awareness, dismantle unjust systems, help, and heal. The systems of donor conception that we have right now are inhumane. Eugenics, money, and genetic designing (think: designer babies) comprise the entire system. 

Conception discrimination and trauma are real; fertility industries are rife with systemic injustice—it just hasn’t been brought out into awareness…yet!

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash