What do egg and sperm donors need to know?

wadc-2020-survey-question-mark

What do egg and sperm donors need to know?

Selected short answers from the 2020 We Are Donor Conceived survey

There is no such thing as anonymous donation. DNA testing has made that obsolete. Even if you never take a DNA test and neither do any of your relatives, a determined offspring can triangulate you. I did it long before the current popularity of DNA testing and with zero prior information on the donor.
Sperm donor conceived person from USA, age 47

Their donations lead to the creation of living, breathing people who are their biological progeny and there is a strong possibility that (at least some of) those individuals are going to be interested in developing some form of acquaintance.
Sperm donor conceived person from USA, age 33

There is an obligation to have yourself known. Not fiduciary. Not custodial. Not to be a provider. But an obligation to be courteous and present. Also, they need to tell their partners to avoid future conflict.
Sperm donor conceived person from Canada, age 33

Not all donor conceived children seek a relationship with their donor, but many do and many, myself included, feel incomplete without knowing at the very least who their donor is. If you are donating—whether it be for the money or as a charitable act, you should be prepared to be open to having a relationship with your donor children because many will likely want to get to know you and therefore get to know themselves.
Sperm donor conceived person from USA, age 16

Prospective donors should know that part of donating is being there for any children who want to reach out to them. Past donors should know that they may be contacted by now adult children. Be kind, most people just want to understand themselves a little better.
Sperm donor conceived person from New Zealand, age 35

Your gametes produce children who will want to know you. Signing away your rights to them does not mean you should emotionally abandon them. They aren’t a threat to you. They just want to understand who they are.
Sperm donor conceived person from USA, age 28

Children are not gifts to be given away or sold. We have as much right to be part of your family as do the children you chose to raise.
Sperm donor conceived person from South Africa, age 57

Donors need to understand that their identity will be important to their children. We are not just a pathway to a quick payday. We are people with feelings and emotions and we have a right to be treated with dignity. Have enough moral conscience to treat your children with respect when they come looking for you. If you are not prepared to do this, then do not donate. You have a moral responsibility to the children you helped into this world. Answer questions with kindness, provide health information and do not lie to them: they deserve the truth.
Sperm donor conceived person from Canada, age 33

Don’t donate for the money. Understand that you are having children, playing a part in creating people with their own complicated emotions and thoughts. Be prepared to have some sort of a relationship with your offspring.
Sperm and egg donor conceived person from USA, age 21

Please, if you donated, muster your courage and upload your DNA to 23andMe and Ancestry ASAP so that your children can have the chance to reach out and get to know you.
Sperm donor conceived person from USA, age 27